Friday, April 15, 2005

of the end of a long day.

So today marks the start of my second week of teaching (keeping track of time is rather odd when I started teaching on a Friday...). I am beginning to get a feel for some of the classes now, and I can recognize most of the faces. I am still not so good with names, but hopefully that will get better.

Today, I had some good classes, (the Bible Study went especially well, but went long and I had a student waiting for me) and some not so good classes. I wouldn`t say any of the classes are failures, but they were certainly lacking in my mind. I have one class I have been having difficulty teaching, and I`m not sure if it was just the lesson or me, or what. But hopefully I will find a way to reach that class.

I notice that I have already begun falling into bad habits and I hope to remedy that. I don`t want to start off on a bad foot. I pray that God will be with me through this process of learning to teach English. But it is definitely rewarding when I see a kid smiling because she understands something, or because he had a good time in English class. And I know all days can`t be like that, but still...

Yeah, I don`t really know what I am trying to say here. I have been very ADD lately, even though I have been taking my meds. I think the real problem is that even though I talk about wanting to put God first in my personal life, I don`t. I need to put actions behind my words. Please pray that I am able to focus first on God, then on others, and finally on me. I want to be a good servant, but it is hard if I don`t listen and obey God first.

I must admit this is quite a struggle for me. I always allow myself to become distracted by daydreams or things I want, or things I like instead of taking the time to focus on God. I know this is the Devil`s tatic, but it is still hard to fight. I am so weak in this area. It makes me feel like a fraud. Like I am spending all my time, hoping no one else finds out how pathetic I really am.

Overall, I am happy with teaching. I just need to keep an eye out to avoid pitfalls, and work more on lesson plans and preparations.

A thought just occurred to me. Maybe I need to be ministered to. I am thinking of seeing if there are any English worship services in the area this weekend...

Anywho, I guess that`s enough for today.

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