So I've decided Japan is good for my self esteem. Or at least today was good for my self-esteem. Today I was fortunate enough to have many people build me up. It's so odd for me to be surrounded by people who praise me. I almost don't know how to deal with it. I keep wondering when I will wake up from this dream. My co-worker praised me (and I actually value her opinion very much) and I know at least one of my adult classes love to come to English class. And of course 99% of the kids love me (but that's normal, kids are easy to please.)
The adult class in question took me out again after class today. They are great. They are going to take me out on a Saturday next month it looks like. And my Tuesday class is planning a "welcome party" for me week after next. Things were slow at first, but I think it's just because it takes me a little while to build up relationships. But now my weeks are filling up with things to do. I feel like this is less work, and more like me being rewarded.
I just pray that God uses my time here. I know that I myself am not really capable of much. But I am so thankful for this experience. I know I will remember this for the rest of my life and be so happy that I did this.
It's funny, I still feel lost and directionless sometimes, but before when I felt that, I felt such overwhelming discouragement. But now, somehow, it's ok. I can still feel contentment, while I feel the other things too. I want to feel like this the rest of my life...