Saturday, June 30, 2007
So, God is really cool. He always has the best timing ever.
Today I stayed home, mainly to rest, and get some emotional healing. This is from things I've had since I was way little. Things I've believed about myself. Like I am not beautiful. I have no value if I am not useful. If people saw the real me, they would run away.
All these things have shaped my life, how I live it, how I react to things.
The book I was talking about before talks about these things.
So today, I just wanted to spend some time with God and listen to who He said I was. I took some time to rest, take a nap, read some things, and just spend the day with God. It's been nice and refreshing.
So, I just got up from my nap, and when I looked, I had a letter. This is the reason I am going to write now.
This girl has been my friend since jr. high school. She is the most loyal person I know. She is also one of the most injured people by life I know. If I had been through the things she has, I would have shut down long ago. but she keeps going. And she can still love the people around her. That's amazing.
What amazes me the most is that she loves me. I know I have not been a good friend to her. It's easy to say that I live so far away, and the things here take my time. But she always forgives me. She is always ready to have a close relationship with me.
I guess because she has always been there, it's so easy to take her for granted. To not realize the value of someone who is so familiar.
So today I got a letter from her. She must have wrote this letter last week, but I got it today.
In this letter were all the words I needed to hear. She told me that she loved me and that I was a beautiful person. She wrote five pages to me.
I think this is maybe the first time my heart has let me hear the things she has been telling me all these years. I don't know if I have ever really listened before when a girl friend told me I was beautiful or important. Somehow, I felt it didn't count, because they were my friends, of course, they HAD to say those things. Right? I mean that's what friends do.
So the words had no meaning for me. They never reached my heart. I never really heard them.
But today, for the first time. My heart heard them. My heart heard all the words that all my dear and wonderful friends have been telling me.
So I want to tell you too. I know I could have written you a letter, but I wanted you to know, in a public way, that I thank you so much for being my friend. Thank you so much for telling me over and over again the things I needed to hear. Thank you for always forgiving me. Thank you for always loving me. I can't believe I've been blind for so long! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
So, here are some more pictures! I love you. I love you today more than I ever have before. Thank you. I love you.