Monday, June 06, 2011

Finding Worship in the shallow end

Today (technically yesterday, but I think it doesn't count as yesterday until I go to sleep.) was Sunday. Sunday means church.

I was able to go to my old, comfortable church for the first time in about a month. It was refreshing to have the familiar liturgy and see people I hadn't seen in a while. I saw some of my old students, and played with children. I prefer that to "adult" conversations most days anyway. Service was spent sitting next to my friend with the most adorable one year old little girl. I get to help "entertain" her when I can go. But mostly I just watched her, finding little bits of God in the wonder of a child.

Afterward we went to a park for a semi-pick nick lunch. Comfortable conversations, helping the baby slide, watching my roommate run and play with the baby... A wonderful peaceful afternoon. Resting and giving rest in the fellowship of the Body of Christ.

Coming home I read a blog from another friend of mine, where she had a link to a song she was doing in class. It was a country song I had never heard before, but it awoke a longing in my soul for things of the past, of when I was young and grew up on country music. I spent some time surfing YouTube for old (being a relative term) country songs from my childhood. And a strange peace, and yet an unspeakable longing engulfed me. Country songs that speak of love, and longing. Pieces of my past that reflect the future I dream of. The chords remind me that I'm still a country girl at heart. And the peace whispers that what I'm really missing is the intimacy we had with God in Eden. And my heart worships in a way I couldn't do in a church.

Is it weird to worship while listening to country music? Or while watching a child play with rocks?

Not so far into my journey into the past, I check my cell phone and realize that my friend has e-mailed me. She wants to know if I'm free. There's a place she want's to go in Tokyo and doesn't want to go alone. I think of how I should be more responsible with my money, I should rest and I reply back, "sure, I'll go with you." After all, she is more important than money.

We ride the trains in comfortable chatter. I'm happy to know my Japanese is good enough now to talk like this. We dream of her being able to come and visit America with me this summer. Or being able to visit another friend in Osaka in the Fall. Just being together. It's fun. I go with her so she can buy stuff for the latest Korean pop idol. I think she's slightly crazy, but I'm crazy about different things, so we all have our "idols."

We wander around Shibuya after she makes her purchases. We run across a small cafe called "amber." So what else is there to do other than try it out. It was a cute little place, unfortunately smelling of cigarette smoke, but the food was good. (I had a quite tasty avocado gratin made with a soy based cream sauce with plenty of garlic) Easy conversation in a novel place. I got to keep a coaster, and the employees got a kick out of the fact that I had the same name as the restaurant. Maybe I'll go back on my birthday and get a dessert set.

More wandering and we find some game centers to play around in. We manage to find a nice employee who "arranged" some prizes for us so we could win them easily. I got a nice stuffed animal. A really cute otter.

Coming home in the rain, the peace stays with me. I shouldn't feel rested, but yet I do. I feel content in a day of unusual worship and blessings and fellowship.

And now I'm listening to some more country music and longing for heaven.

Maybe not your idea of worship and rest, but I feel closer to God today than I have in a while.

A good Sunday. Finding Worship even in the shallow end. :-D


-Elizabeth said...

Externals are not what give depth, virtue, or any other kind of greatness. If your heart was open to God, and you lived being mindful of Him, than surely you have worshiped. Whose heart is more closely aligned with God, the one who can only worship buoyed on the emotions of others and the external fixtures of a church, or the one who worships in the midst of many externals?
Corporate worship has its place, but what matters is your heart.
""The time of business does not with me differ from the time of prayer; and in the noise and clatter of my kitchen, while several persons are at the same time calling for different things, I possess God in as great tranquility as if I were upon my knees at the blessed sacrament."- Brother Lawrence

Wade said...

Worship is how you make it in your heart. Whether you are in a church or not. The new testament started the whole church idea. A gathering of people to read the word of God.
They worshipped there in good company together. However, worship is in your heart. You can go to church and not have the heart for worship. Many Christians go to church because they know it's church time, and sometimes that leads to lethargy in worship.