When you live in a foreign country, you are at the mercy of a lot of things outside of your control.
And you are very aware of how life is not fair.
I'm sure I've mentioned before my less than ideal former company. One of my roommates was also employed by the same company. I say was because she's going to give her notice tomorrow and quit. Because the company lied to immigration, to her, and probably did a whole lot of other illegal things, thus leading to her visa not being renewed. She could fight it, but it would involve continuing to do less than legal things.
Sometimes life really sucks.
In less than a month I will be deprived of a roommate, thanks to a dishonest company. I feel... cheated, betrayed... empty... defeated.
After being hit with a blow that is going to change my living conditions drastically, the Enemy attacks, whispering, insinuating.
sssoooo.... (Imagine a slithering voice here, for dramatic purposes only.) Where is God now? Why didn't he rescue your friend? Why is He allowing yet another person to be taken down in this country? Doesn't He love you? Why didn't He answer your prayers? HE'S HOLDING OUT ON YOU.
I'm not good a arguing the point. In fact, I generally loose any argument that requires persuasion. I could never make a living as a salesman. So, I know better than to try to argue back against the voices. I can't quote scriptures to save my life.
But I can turn my back. Refuse to let the voices take me down more. Even if I don't know why, I know God does. God loves us. God has a plan for us. And God rescues us. Even if it's not the way we had planned out.
My ideas of what would be good did not pan out. But God remains God. He remains in control. I must believe this, or I have nothing.
My community I had wanted is going to be gone soon. I will be left with one roommate and an uncertain future. The results I feared have come to pass.
But my roommate is determined to not go back to America defeated. She will go back with her head high, clinging to her God.
So I must also not be defeated here. I pray that we may praise and honor God through this, to the very final moments of our community.
God did not answer the way we wanted Him to.
Life is not fair.
Yeah. So what.
It could be much worse.
I may not have the hope part of things down yet, but I am thankful for the rock that supports me with truth and faith when I don't have the answers.
And I'm thankful for a God who is compassionate when I cry when I loose things dear to me.
Maybe someday I'll see and understand His grace in this situation.
But even if I don't.
I'll stand on this rock.