Monday, February 14, 2011

The God Who Hears - reprisal

"My God is a God who Hears."

"My God is a God who Hears."

I've been repeating this to myself today. God has good timing, to teach us something right before we need to believe it.

It's easy when things don't go the way we think they should, or our lives aren't where we think they should be at to get frustrated with God. We wonder what we aren't doing right. Maybe if I try a different tactic... Maybe I'm not praying the right way... Maybe I'm just not good enough... The Maybes build a wall to form my prison.

When I get frustrated, I remember the record of Hannah. A woman who had her husband's love, but wanted a child. She wanted the affirmation of being a woman. To become a mother. Such an important thing for her society.

Sometimes I berate myself for my perceived weakness. The ache of my heart is to be loved. To find a partner. To be appreciated as a woman. To be married. And so often, I try to tell myself that it's a selfish desire. I should love God more instead. I should be content with what I have. I try to convince myself how much I would loose from my current lifestyle if I were married. I try to beat it down and stop causing me pain. But it never stays down. Sometimes I can ignore it for a while. But it always comes back. No matter how much I try to reason, or guilt trip it away, it never listens to me.

And I remember Hannah. She wanted a child. This desire too could be seen as selfish. For her own sake, she wanted a child. Her husband already had children. But she wanted her own. Flesh of her flesh. She wanted the proof that she was a whole woman.

So she cried, with a broken, longing heart. And she prayed. She pleaded to her God.

And God listened. He had compassion on the barren woman, and gave her children. How comforting. God cared about this woman's heart. He cared about her. And He provided for her.

So today, when my heart cries out from loneliness, I remember. My God Hears. My God Cares. I may not get the answer that I want, but I know that He Cares. He sees the pain in my heart. And He Listens to my cries.

And suddenly the pain is less. The desire remains, but just knowing that God has heard me, and He cares, has soothed my heart. I can wait again, remembering to trust my God with my life and my heart. And when my heart falters again, He will surely Hear me once more.

Thank you Father for Hearing me in all situations. Thank you for caring about my heart. Thank you for reminding me of Your love. Thank you for hope. Please bestow upon me wisdom, patience and a heart that aches after you. Amen


Haidee said...

This is beautiful, Amber...thank you for putting Hannah's story into a present-day perspective and a reminder of God's character into my spirit! Love you!

Shanda said...

Yes, our God hears and our God cares. He knows the desires of your heart. I'm praying right now for you, a sister I haven't met. Well written

Blue Kohaku said...

Haidee - I'll have you know I place a great deal of blame for this blog post on you and your blog post which you wrote because of the other blog post! (I think blog posts are breeding here...) ;-)

Shanda - thanks for your prayers. I'm always in favor of prayers!

Melissa Munoz said...

The God Who Hears has been one of my favorite names for God for a long time. The thing that I think makes this name for God so amazing is that it demonstrates not only His care and love for us but also His nearness. For example, The God Who Sees is another awesome name of God but you can see someone from far away. In order to hear someone and those quiet pleas and depserate whispers you have to be so near to that person that you are face to face your ear turned to hear them. To hear the silent cries you have to be in that person's thoughts and you have to know that person's thoughts. That is how well God knows us and how close to us He is.

Thank you for the reminder that God is a God who hears.