Saturday, February 12, 2011

In the quiet heartbeat of midnight...

Night has long since fallen. My roommate asleep for hours now. But I am yet awake.

In the wee hours of the morning, just before the birth of a new day, sitting watch while the night takes the dying breaths of my today, I listen, captivated by song.

The music stirs my soul, and moves me to reach for God.

In the dark, I read the musings of a love story being written on a woman's heart. Small pieces of her journey with her husband. The jewels of wisdom she shares from her romance with God. Two lovers. One story.

And I weep. To know that love is true. To feel connected to another's story. To feel my soul stir with longing.

And I listen to the music of a piano. And think this must be just a small glimpse of the beauty of heaven. And I feel connected to my God through the beauty of music.

And I close my eyes, and worship my God, who gives us words and music, things to connect us, and pull us back to Him. Things that are meaningless without those to share them with.

At 2:30 in the morning, is the day dying, or just begun? The only answer I receive is a heartbeat. It has neither died, nor been born. It is. He is. and I am.

And I too feel the need to share words. Put shapes to abstract thoughts and feelings. It is now when I feel most alive. Here in the grey between today, tomorrow and yesterday. Somehow I find a certain freedom in the place where the lines of definition have been removed.

Some beauty is best appreciated in the stillness of night.


Melissa Munoz said...

What organization did you come with to get to Japan? I have been trying to get stationed in Saitama as I have a friend who lives there but can't find any missions organizations who go there.

Isn't it amazing the times when God stirs our hearts? Whether with a longing for Him or His kingdom He stirs us and brings us closer to Him in that momment. Praise God that He allows us to draw close to Him in the silence of the night and in the breaking of a new day.

Shihu said...

I came with the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod to work with the Japan Lutheran Church. Unfortunately the program is closing down this year. Where in Saitama did you want to go?

Melissa Munoz said...

Anywhere in Saitama would be great but my frind lives in Saitama City. I also think it would be interesting to live in Tokyo.

denloth said...

Hi Amber!

I am starting on a college research paper about Christians in Japan, toying with the idea of focusing it on evangelism through English teaching/conversation exchange. I've been skimming through the past several years of your blog and just wanted to say "thank you"! It's great to see such transparency in a blogger, sharing about the ups and downs of life in another country, and has brought up a couple interesting things that I might like to look into further for the report.

I am trying to get a job as an English teacher in Japan for next fall. Hearing about the relationships you've built while there, I'm excited to start my own adventure with sharing my faith and life.

Hmm, that seems like a dead ended comment. But again, all I wanted to say was thank you!

Shihu said...


Saitama is a pretty big prefecture! I live in Saitama-shi (city) and it's pretty nice. I'm a big fan. I don't know any organizations here, but I know there are several in Tokyo. If you don't mind about an hour commute one way, you can live in Saitama and work in Tokyo. Of course you could just come as an English Teacher and become a prayer warrior in your spare time! :-D

Shihu said...


Thanks for your encouragement. I am pretty much shocked anytime someone makes comments like you. I keep wondering if maybe my blog isn't being confused with a different blog! Haha. But it's good encouragement to keep writing. Unfortunately I don't write nearly as much as I want to. There's plenty to say, but I confess I am often more lazy than not.

I appreciate you reading several years worth of my ramblings. Good luck with your paper.

Melissa Munoz said...

I would love to come over to teach English but unfortunately I do not have a four year degree and every where I have looked requires a four year degree to be hired.

Blue Kohaku said...

This is true. About everything in Japan requires a degree... At least where foreigners are concerned.