I've come to this conclusion before, but I continually re-affirm it. I'm a looser. There's just no other way around it. My life can be going great, but I always screw it up.
There is nothing really major that I am complaining about, just the little things that add up. Of course, I don't feel good today, so I guess that brings me down too. But on days like this, all I do is see my loud, blaring, big, honkin faults. It stinks. And then, rather than try to fix things, I push away these thoughts and feelings and try to loose myself in something meaningless.
I think the biggest problem is that I know it's a problem, and yet, I am not changing myself or preventing these actions (or in most cases inactions.)
The good news is, this leaves me rather dependent on God for everything. The bad news is, that sort of thinking allows me to rationalize my sins. Yes, quite the condrum.
I know God loves me (and several people as well, though I can't imagine why), but right now, I don't really like myself all that much.